Old School, New School, No DC School

So the Obama's are looking for a school to send their daughters once they get into the White House. Here are 3 tips to help guide them in their search.

1. Don't think about D.C. public schools unless the girls Secret Service detail has better weapons than the students.

2. Don't thnk about P.G. County schools unless you want the girls to get high off the contact of their classmates clothing everyday after lunch.

3. Don't consider Alexandria Public schools unless their father does not plan on putting a fence up between the US and Mexican borders.

Bonus tip: Make sure they get an appreciation of go-go music so they can relate to their classmates...just don't ever let their azz go to the go-go unless the Secret Service can match the arsenal of weapons in the parking lot of a go-go.