Me: Um...I'm a big fan of yours.
Female Superstar: Thanks. I appreciate it.
Me: Um...so where's your security?
Female Superstar: I think they went to the bar or bathroom.
Me: I HAVE TO HAVE YOU....*licks side of female superstars face*
Female Superstar: I've been waiting for a man to come along with enough balls to lick my face
Me: *licks other side of her face*
Female Superstar: May I Nick Cannon you?
Me: I thought you would never ask *picks up phone, calls home and tells daughter to put momma on the phone and tells her I'm not coming home*
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